


High Hopes

by WorldCup



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Also they played this song in UCL 18/19 im, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Borussia Dortmund, Champions League, Gen, I predicted the future, Not Shippy, Real Madrid CF, Toni transfers to bvb, Transfers, UCL, and I blame es (My amazing beta btw) for supporting this, bc I needed content of him with Marco and Mario, it started as a 661 words thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 18:30:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15824535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorldCup/pseuds/WorldCup
Summary: Bayern said he was not a world-class midfielder; in Real they said he could be, and made him one.And Dortmund… Dortmund was not too different in that part – encouragement, recognition, acknowledgement– than Real was.---Alternate universe in which Toni Kroos stayed with Los Blancos three years before transferring to Borussia Dortmund.





	High Hopes

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, I want to thank my beta, Es, who's amazing at both art and fixing my numerous problems: tense inconsistencies, too long sentences, etc. This is for you, Es, as you already know, mean you got the 661 words draft bc I wanted you to have something good to wake up to, I hope this version, with which you helped so much, is alright. <3  
> Secondly, this is my first time posting a 1k+ story, and the first time I post for ymthis fandom, too, so forgive any weirdness.  
> Three, I'd like to explain: in this AU, Toni Kroos transferred to BVB after 3 years with RM, I have nothing against RM, but I just love the idea of having Toni, Marco, and Mario together. ~~yes, especially thanks to _that_ goal against Sweden nt~~  
>  which means There might be some inconsistence with Canon, which is why I tagged it as "Canon divergence".
> 
> Lastly, this is a Toni-Centric work. I hope I managed to get his thoughts aKroos. (I'm so funny)
> 
> Disclaimer: this work is a fiction and only fiction.  
> PS: all mistakes are mine :)

 

**_UEFA Champions League Group Stage, Group_ _C - Borussia Dortmund – Real Madrid CF_ **

 

 **T** hey make their way to the tunnel at the Bernabéu and Toni can't help but feel... strange. It's the first time he's there wearing a different club's kit. The first time he plays against Real Madrid since his transfer to Dortmund.

When he played with Madrid against Bayern, a match that feels like an eternity ago despite it only having been two years, he didn't feel this way.

He was never attached to Bayern the way he was attached to Madrid – Marco, Marcelo, Gareth, Luka, Iker, Isco, even Sergio– they were his brothers for three years.

Three years that felt both long, and not enough. Three years of emotional and physical experiences he’d never had before – the bitter shame of defeat; the elated joy of victory; the feeling of assisting, or even scoring for your team.

Playing against them... he wasn't sure he knew how – or if he even could – deal with it.

How was he supposed to–  
"Traitorous thoughts we're having, aren't we?" Mario says next to him. Toni turns his head to see him smiling sympathetically, and nods. Mario had been with Bayern for 3 years before returning to Dortmund. He scored for München against his former club. His club of a decade or so.

Toni was with him that day on the pitch. The scene of Mario with his hands up in surrender, no, not surrender – a plea for forgiveness – played over and over in his head. The memories of how visibly hurt the Dortmund fans were, that heavy, shocked silence at that goal; Mario's own expression – guilt, pain, shame – rose up in Toni's mind.

"What if I–" Toni's voice sounds too high, even to his own ears. He takes a shaky breath and he tries again. “–what if I can't?” He finally manages to croak.

"You can" he hears Marco from behind his back. But it doesn’t feel directed only to him. He turns to look at Marco, only to meet with his hurt – almost betrayed, even – expression as he gazes at Mario. He notices an experienced, sad glint in his eyes, and Toni can’t tell if it is only for Mario, or for the painful memory of scoring twice against 'gladbach, Marco's own former club, as well.

He knows, however, that the almost teasing, yet eerily, painfully calm tone and the hurt, bitter smile were directed at Mario.

"Kroos, Reus, Götze! Get in the line!" One of the referees ushers them.

Still at loss, he can’t imagine bringing such pain as Marco tried to mask with nonchalance, onto his previous teammates.  
He can’t imagine losing with his current team either.

Bayern said he was not a world-class midfielder; in Real they said he could be, and made him one. And they kept telling him that   _yes, he was doing it right_ , and _no, that is not a smart decision,_ and _yes, we need you to start._

And Dortmund… Dortmund was not too different in that part – encouragement, recognition, acknowledgement– than Real was. _You're excellent,_ they kept saying, promising him _we will make you even better._

He moves to stand in his place in the line, few minutes before they go out of the tunnel, and looks to his side. It's Karim, who towers above Toni, looking at him sadly before turning his gaze forward.  
So that's the sort of goodbye he gets from him. Unsurprising, honestly, as Benzema never seemed too enthusiastic about him.  
  
A hand on his shoulder brings Toni back to reality. "Look who came to say hi" Marco whispers as he breathes out an entertained, quiet, short laugh.

Marco nods at the three players, Isco, Luka, and Gareth, who return the gesture, before going on to hug Toni. He has missed them, their smell, the feeling of the Real Madrid jersey when it rubs on his face as they hug.  
"Good luck" says Isco.

"We're still gonna beat you though" he adds with a wink – the one he gave to his friends; it’s playful, nothing about it ill-meaning.

It is a difficult, straining match.

Toni even scores once, assisted by Marco, a good goal if he does say so himself. He already did it once for Real, against Bayern, assisted by – the irony hit him as the ball flies – Marco Asensio. This time he moves past Özil – instead of one of Bayern's defenders – and kicks the ball just right, curving it into the right post, and Iker has no chance.

Against Bayern he had only felt pride, but this goal pains him.  
Mario and Marco pat his shoulder. Erik smiles empathetically. Both crowds, Borussen and Madridas, cheer, but Toni doesn’t celebrate his goal.

The match ends with a 4-3 victory for Real, but they don’t celebrate their victory– not in his presence at least –hugging him as they tell him "Better luck next time" and "You still have a chance".  
And Toni can feel the tears –and not those of losing a match – pricking his eyes.

  
"You put an amazing fight, Toni" says Luka, who doesn’t look happy. Surely he is, Toni thinks. But Luka doesn’t show it, for his own sake.  
That thought itself – that they still care for him even now, when he's no longer part of their team, even if it's only temporary – brings him to even more tears.

They rest a day before preparing for the next match, and Toni tries his best to not think. At trainings he feels better – the thoughts can't creep and take over his mind – so he focuses only on training, making sure he has no time to dwell on that match, or on the fact they might meet again at the final or even before that.

He is putting on his jersey for the match – against some Israeli club he hasn’t given enough of a thought to remember the name of – when Marco comes up to him with a smile and scans his clothes.

"How does it feel, Toni?" Toni watches as Marco's face disappears under the shirt he struggles with, and waits until the forward's gaze is fixed on him once again before answering.

"Feels like home."

And truly, it did.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr as axelwitzel (my football sideblog)  
> Es' blogs are esdraws and lukamodrie, and both are 100% worth a follow, if not already.
> 
> Title taken from the song "High Hopes" by Panic! At The Disco from the album "Pray for the Wicked"
> 
> Again, thanks for reading <3


End file.
